So Flaunt this, while I’m a blogger, there will be many of times when I attend a social event and I really don’t know what the hell is going on. Even though an added small description might be printed on the initial invite, I don’t always get the chance to contact the organizers before hand. Sometimes it’s a hit, sometimes it’s a miss, while other times, it turns out being a knock out of the ball park. When I receive the invite, I bring myself and friends hoping to find something entertaining to write about on a more personable level.
Last week, I received the normal text message telling me to rsvp to an event and I did in seconds flat. In this city you have to act fast and think instantaneously. There’s no time to look at your calendar or ask your clique if they’re attending when half of the universe doesn’t know what’s going on the minute they roll out of bed. Isn’t that right my lovely coffee drinkers!?
All I knew is that it was for a magazine by the name of Flaunt Magazine . Actually, without confusion, it was the Califuk launch party but through Flaunt Magazine Magazine. I haven’t spent time rummaging through magazine pages since my tween years of high school. Whether it be online or by paper, I just don’t look at magazines anymore; but that doesn’t stop me from seeing what all the excitement is about. So for those of you, like myself, who have absolutely no clue what the term Califuk means, it’s another made up word like all so many others that we have today.
Shiznizzle; What the hell is a shizz and a nizz? Who thought of this stupid word?!
Hangry; So it took you too much effort to say that you’re hungry and angry at the same time that you had to form an entire new word?
Yolo; I’ve been saying yellow all this time
Gauk; So you didn’t want to waste anymore energy finishing the word guacamole
Squee; Oxford, you ought be kicked for encouraging dog chew toys sounds as a term of excitement. I hate you for deducting my brain cell mass.
So, to better understand Califuk , go ahead and have a field day. It’s LA Fashion Week, and everyone is using this season as a leaning pole to brand and promote themselves all in the name of fashion. Leigh-Ann stayed home to recover from being sick, so it was just myself and my partners in crime, Efrem and Laquan.
Being that the Flaunt Magazine event was being held at the Roosevelt Hotel, I made sure to get there early for street parking, so Efrem had walked up before me to a line of people waiting to get in. The confirmation said to arrive early and so we did, but we didn’t think everyone else cared to do the same in this city. The line was being split into two. One for the VIP Flaunt Magazine list and the other for everyone else. I hate that crap! I guess I’m bitter because I got a red wrist band rather than the “VIP” green one and discredited my own name. Womp womp.
Laquan was running a little behind, so we used my name and left Efrems rsvp open, but good thing we took the extra wrist band with us to alleviate any complications at the door later on. Efrem was already dropping names of people I neither cared nor knew who they were, no offense, but I was hoping to see some of my crowd amongst everyone else.
The place was packed, but I immediately saw the Rich Kids of Beverly Hills pow wowing around a fireplace. I don’t have much against them because I don’t watch their show to encourage my annoyance, but the direct eye contact didn’t give me anymore reason to like them. Maybe it was more on my part that I glanced at them and kept my attention span on the ambiance of the Flaunt party rather than showing the slightest interest in their group. I have peripheral vision like a chameleon, so I definitely saw them taking a visionary test of me as if to size me up. I heard a few words and saw all their heads pointed right in my direction as I stood their contemplating a How you doin with a shade and read. Efrem’s best quote of the night: “You might be the rich kids of Beverly Hills, but we’re the bad bitches of LA, fit perfectly with the sense of rivalry. Then again they could’ve been just complimenting my cheekbones.
They weren’t the only faces I shamefully recognized. Walking through the crowd was also Rebecca Black, who’s known for that ridiculous Friday song and somehow became a celebrity off of her ear bleeding voice tunes. I didn’t even know she hit puberty yet to be at a 21 and over event. Again the dynamics of this industry is becoming an utter embarrassment.
I ran into my adorable friend Nico who looks like another version of a Justin Bieber and his barbie blonde sister. I’ll admit, initially when I saw them outside with our friend Dave, I became that who’s this chick, type of girl. And then I felt like a complete ass when he introduced us. Seeing a different side of him being turned on by my crystal dragon finger ring definitely raised my eyebrow a bit, but we kept the conversation friendly.
For some odd reason, I really wasn’t feeling like myself and I felt extremely tensed up. Maybe because I actually have a day job that takes up a lot of my mental and physical energy and I don’t spend all my time taking selfies or flipping my hair. So I was in need of a drink. I was hoping for them to have food walking around, but as large as this crowd was, that just wasn’t going to happen. There were several bars, but I wanted one with the shortest line and where I could grab a free drink rather than paying for a whole bottle poured inside a Dixie glass. So we walked around the pool to where Virgin Atlantic was set up.
Now I really didn’t know what was going on. It’s too much. Are we flying somewhere right now because I could really use a vacation.
I didn’t understand the sponsorship from Atlantic for this Flaunt Magazine party, but they were handing out free champagne in flute glasses and I just needed them to keep them coming. The bartenders were absolute dolls and I’m sure they didn’t mind working after seeing the jar of tips given by the guest.
We were still waiting for Laquan, but we ended up running into more friends. My co-worker and Southern Bell, Brittany, was there and I was so excited to finally see her out. She’s originally from Kentucky, but after landing the girlfriend role of the reality star Jax, from my favorite hit show Vanderpump Rules, she has almost everything at the palm of her hands and she’s loving every moment of it. Coming from a town where cameras following your every waking movement isn’t considered normal and being in the same room with celebrities only gets as close as seeing them on your tv in the comfort of your own home, I can kind of see how a person could be a little star eyed.
The only difference is that she is as humble as humble pie and that’s what I truly love and respect about her. I Immediately wanted to go to the Flaunt Magazine photo booth with her to start the night off right. This was probably the first photo booth that didn’t do us any justice being we couldn’t even see ourselves. So we had to position our group photo in a way where none of us would get cropped out. And forget the filter, I looked like I just bathed in an hot oil shower. On the other hand, they turned out ok once we sent them through our emails.
Finally we received a call from Laquan stating that he was outside, but there was an issue at the door with letting people in. Exactly why we took that extra wrist band with us in the beginning. We walked outside with our drinks in hand and grabbed Laquan from the crowd of people. I was already feeling bubbly from that champagne and made it a point to grab another glass. Although the crowd was mixed with socialites, douchey promoters, party goers and Hollywood kids, the atmosphere was a bit stuffy. Sure this was an event, but there was hardly any life among the crowd. It was as if people were trying too hard to play it cool, but this was a dope event and no one was taking advantage of that. Our mutual friend and fashion designer, Odain, was at the Virgin Atlantic clubhouse and I guess they weren’t prepared for the amount of people in attendance since they ran out of every bottle of champagne. Then again, it’s a good thing when you can max out the capacity of people all in one space.
What did they do? Have champagne parties?!
I was bummed that, that seemed to be the only thing to really loosen me up. We noticed a stage set up for an artist performance, but for the time being it was just an empty spotlight, so Laquan and I decided to head over to the Flaunt Magazine photo booth while Efrem was in the middle of poolside talk.
Of course we ran into more friends and continued to roam throughout the party. Shortly after, Efrem decided to leave upset because he got stuck with one individual we’ve been trying to avoid and it became just Laquan and I.
Shortly after, a performance began with the band Wolf Alice, where fans flocked to the stage and danced around by the pool. I was standing a little too close to the edge, so we waited for the performance to end so no accidents would happen. My champagne bubbles started to burst so We continued to mingle around the party. We found Brittney again waiting for Jax to arrive who had conveniently shown up moments after as we somehow got involved in a civil discussion of reality tv vs real actors and how social dynamics screwed up the way of the industry.
A woman in a red dress with a revealing side slit caught my attention from across the pool. She had a body like Beyonce, but the appearance of Amber Rose. Normally, it’s me who enjoys the spotlight and engaging everyone’s attention, but I was so lured in by her silhouette in the florescent lights that I couldn’t stop staring. We walked over towards the lounging area by the patios of hotel guest where the Dj started to spin and that’s when the party officially started.
Well it’s about time!
Just my luck when I’m ready to leave and the Dj started cranking ish up!
Laquan started dancing on tables and I danced in nothing but a body suit and jeans. I don’t know what alternate universe we walked into, but people really started to let their hair down a bit. Everyone was dancing and connecting on a whole different level from the first couple of hours spent. Then it just started to get a little too rea as I observed the shift in the crowd as the night went on. That silhouette of a Beyonce and Amber Rose combination ended up being a man with body for days. Finally giving our feet a rest and after the third try of leaving, which never pans out that way, we started making our way towards the exit past the stage. Once I saw a friend dancing with another girl I, again, joined in. This seemed to turn guys on since I saw several heads do a 180° spin.
The funny thing I find about drunk people is that, you can’t understand a damn word they’re speaking but they swear on their life that they’re making complete sense. The cutest little gay guy started twerking and dancing with me, but kept slurring his words in regards to falling in the pool with my hair. Oh uh uh boo boo… that’s not about to happen. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to get me to jump in or was considering doing it himself, but the dancing took his focus away every other minute.
My premonition came into full effect when I had just mentioned about the chances of someone falling into the pool, except people were actually jumping in. A few party goers had stripped themselves nude and gave a show for the rest of the guest. Our cue to leave. All I would need is some idiot to throw me, my hair and my phone in and there would’ve been a bloody riot.
So we said our goodbyes and made our way towards the door. Officially. The fact that there were still people trying to make their way into the Flaunt Magazine event was laughable, but considering that Beachers Madhouse, was having their grand opening for the 100th time, and on the same night as this event, I guess it was a little mix of that. Either way, the real party didn’t start up until the time it was time to go and we spent that last hour turning up!
Flaunt, you definitely know how to bring people back to life!